Shed shame and self-doubt: Cultivating self-acceptance
Are you outsourcing your self-acceptance?
Whether you realize it or not, it’s time to reclaim your self worth. For a long time, I was stuck in this loop—striving for an unattainable standard and shaming myself when I inevitably fell short. The journey of overcoming perfectionism and embracing self-acceptance has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences.
Keep reading to discover:
Why you are not defined by what others think of you.
How prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
Why self-acceptance is simple, but not easy.
Redefining self-worth: How to let go of external validation
For years, I lived under the shadow of what others thought of me. My value was intricately tied to their opinions, and I shaped myself to be small and palatable, hoping to be liked. But here's the truth: defining your worth by what others think of you is a trap. You can never truly know what others think, and even if you could, their opinions are ever-changing. This realization was a turning point for me. I began to focus on what I could control—my own thoughts, beliefs, and actions. It was in this shift that I discovered my true power.
The first step in redefining my self-worth was to slow down. Slowing down felt impossible. I was terrified of disappointing others with my choices because I wasn’t willing to feel the feelings that I would feel when others were disappointed in me. It was too scary. But as I began to slow down, and say ‘no,’ to things that weren’t for me (and might disappoint others) I realized that I was giving away my power by constantly needing others to approve of me. Slowing down wasn’t just about pacing myself; it was about reclaiming my life from the expectations of others. Yes, I let people down, but in doing so, I finally prioritized myself. And for the first time, I understood that being 'selfish'—a word that used to sting—was actually a form of self-care.
The power of acceptance: Embracing imperfection
Acceptance is deceptively simple yet incredibly challenging. To accept yourself—flaws and all—means letting go of the need for perfection. It means feeling the feelings that you weren’t willing to feel before because they are uncomfortable. And they have meaning. If I feel worthless, then how can I ever be enough.
But I took the brave step in seeing and feeling those feelings of worthlessness. In slowing down and feeling my emotions, I had a conversation with them. I asked them why they were inside me and what they wanted me to know.
And in dialoguing with my feelings, I was able to discover and acknowledge that I am enough, just as I am. No matter what others think.
This has been the hardest lesson for me. I was so conditioned to shame myself for every imperfection that embracing them felt unnatural. But through this journey, I learned that acceptance isn’t about settling; it’s about recognizing your worth beyond your achievements and failures. It’s about taking one step at a time and letting go of the need to be perfect.
Self acceptance is a journey, not a destination
Overcoming perfectionism and embracing self-acceptance is not a one-time event; it’s an ongoing journey. It requires patience, kindness to yourself, and the courage to feel your feelings even with they are overwhelming. Remember, you are not defined by what others think, and prioritizing yourself is not selfish—it’s essential. Most importantly, acceptance, though difficult, is the key to breaking free from the shackles of perfectionism and living a life of genuine contentment.
Take a moment today to reflect on where you might be seeking external validation and how that affects your sense of self-worth. What would change if you began to prioritize yourself and embrace your imperfections? Start with one small step—because you are worth it.
