From burnout to balance: discovering inner peace
I used to feel completely overwhelmed—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
It seemed like I was constantly on edge, trying to please everyone, except myself. I was so afraid of being judged or rejected, and I constantly worried that everything could fall apart at any moment. I had to hold everything together - because no one else would.
I needed to control everything, in order to be safe. And manage what other’s thought of me.
Keep reading to discover:
Why awareness is the first step (and what to do if you don’t think you are aware)
How to embrace self-acceptance (even when you don’t want to)
How to cultivate inner calm (even in the midst of others’ chaos)
It wasn’t just about what others thought of me; it was about what I thought of myself. I was scared that if I really looked at who I was, I wouldn’t like what I saw. And if I couldn’t accept myself, how could I expect anyone else to?
This fear pushed me into a never ending cycle of people-pleasing. I thought that if I could make others happy, if I could be what they wanted me to be, maybe I could avoid the rejection from them (and ultimately myself) that I dreaded so much.
What I didn’t realize it at the time was that I was outsourcing my self-worth, hoping others’ approval would make me feel valued.
My upbringing played a role in this, teaching me that acceptance had to be earned. But living this way only made me feel more disconnected from myself, and it kept me from finding the peace I so desperately desired.
Awareness is the first step
The turning point for me came when I finally understood that looking for validation outside myself was exhausting and unsustainable. I couldn’t keep trying to control everything or be everything to everyone. When I finally became aware of what I was doing, and who I was, it wasn’t as scary as I had expected. And more importantly, I had a huge realization.
I realized that real peace and self-acceptance had to start from within.
I had to slow down. I had to take inventory of what roles I played in peoples’ lives (mother, daughter, wife, sister, designer) and realize that those roles were not who I truly was. I am more than the roles I played in others’ lives. I was a full human being and what I do (or don’t do) would no longer define who I am.
Awareness can be painful or it can be cathartic. For me it was a mix of both. But you cannot change what you do know, so it was timely for me to slow down and really see who I was.
Embracing my ‘unloveable’ parts
Once I became aware, the next step was acceptance. And by acceptance, I don’t mean giving up or settling. For me, acceptance meant embracing the parts of me that I didn’t like. The parts of me that procrastinated or controlled others to feel safe. This is not an easy task and it starts with a dialogue with those parts, and a sh*t ton of compassion.
When I started to approach my unloveable parts with curiosity, I became more open to accepting them fully.
Instead of trying to push away my fear, I started talking to it. I would ask what it needed, what it was trying to protect me from, and whether it could transform or take on a new role in my life. This wasn’t always easy, but over time, it led me to a much deeper sense of peace. The magic of acceptance is, when you accept those parts of you that are holding you back fully, unconditionally, they then have permission to change.
Cultivating inner calm
Now, I can say that I’ve found a sense of inner calm that I never thought possible. Life still happens, and the world around me can still be chaotic and unpredictable, but I’m not overwhelmed by it anymore. I’ve found something steady within myself—a connection to who I really am and a sense of peace that helps me handle whatever comes my way.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Start by just noticing where you are, without judging yourself. Let that awareness be the beginning of your journey.
From there, you can begin to accept and heal the parts of yourself that need attention. It’s not an easy path, and it takes time, but finding peace within yourself is worth every step. And remember, it’s okay to be exactly where you are right now. You are in the perfect place on your personal awakening journey.
